No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
