I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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