so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
