I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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