is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
