I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
