Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
