So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
we're so committed to being not committed
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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