worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
