you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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