Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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