So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
