He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
