just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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