I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
