and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
