i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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