I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
