Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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