Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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