Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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