Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
