This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
