after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize