Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
