When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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