he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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