It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
