Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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