I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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