piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
