see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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