I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
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Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
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I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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