I heard we made out
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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