There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
