can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
