Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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