she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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