doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize