Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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