ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She bit a glass in half.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i think i just lost a toe
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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