Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
