When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
