Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
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Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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