He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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