I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
