You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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