Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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