My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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