I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
