she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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