Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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