I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
