Plan B is the new Plan A
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
