He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
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he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
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I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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