I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
