He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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