it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
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I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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