i just sold back the books i vomitted on
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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