My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize