why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
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Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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