and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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