i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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