I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
