trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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