i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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