Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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