You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.