i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?