The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
