I'm jealous of your bromance
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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