I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I hate all girls vehemently.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So vagazzling was a success
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
