I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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