This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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