What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
