They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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