Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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