Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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